Incidentally, I Love You

Sunday, November 22, 2009

A sea of insomnia

A sea of insomnia,
my soul teases with hints of tired eyes and weak limbs,
but they are all fabrications of the way I want to feel.

The quality of night no longer depends on who I spent it with,
but how long I stay up afterwards considering and revisiting it inside my head.

My head,
my cartoon head,
where everything is more colorful and precious and I can view it in anyway I'd like.

This is my boat at sea,
my cracked sails are just a memory,
my comatose oars an old accompany,
my clouded lantern a simple telescopic light,
my cramped breeze an immensely cold bite,
these are my friends through endless night.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

What you tried to say but never thought.

Ian-
roads resurfaced
unsurfaced
driving slow
with no
destination
cheap cigarettes and an empty tank of gas
where do we go from here?
repairing bridged i've already burned
sharp right on ivy lane

crooked mailboxes
stretching out towards the street
reaching out like helpless scrawny arms
as if to grasp the cars
as they float by
and in the sky
stars burst with light
explosions in night
oh, my glorious, good friend night
in god we lust
good night.

Kirsten-
Driving fast
Trying to reach every destination we never planned on traveling to
Hooked on what we can't have
Burning holes in our stomachs with the food we've painted for
crooked mailboxes
waiting for the night to come so that their bodies can stretch
stretch and scratch the road
stars burst through the light into the darkness of our skin
seeking every speck and spark and twinkle within

oh, my glorious other, good friend night
hold hands with me in day sometime
hold hands with me tonight.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Tattoo

After much debate (a little over a year) I have finally decided to get a tattoo. I was unsure as to the subject as well as the location, but have decided on my left forearm, near my elbow. Here are two pictures (the only two I could find on the entire internet, shows me that this IS the unique tattoo I've been trying to locate for a very long time) of the tattoo, although the first has three, I only want one. Also- it will be squared, not slanted in any way.
(1)

(2)

The second is the one that gave me inspiration for the idea of a permanent piece of the tattoo, but also the ability for change and conversion. I love the idea of creating a canvas on the body, but still having effervescent alteration and daily creative license over the tattoo.
<3

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Do you spell your name with capitals?

I seem to be my only enemy. I'm the only thing that gets in the way of...well...me.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Wavering, almost painfully protesting the wind, you smile at me from afar.
The only reason why you left and the only reason why I’m scared and the only reason why you got yourself into this in the first place was because of me.
It is all on me you say.
“But how could this have ever happened or come to pass without you?” is my ever-implied comeback.
I don’t blame you for leaving me though.
If I were given the ability to have my soul possess some other creature or being than myself, I would flee across the world, out of sight, away from my marrow and my blood and my skeleton.

All the things that remind me I’m me.

Why can’t I contain myself long enough to figure out where I’m located anymore?
Somehow I always find myself waking up next to strangers, wearing clothes I’ve never owned, walking to places that don’t even exist.

And to think that all I ever wanted to do was go back to sleep.

You've always been ready.

You’re too big now baby, too big for me to carry in. And I don’t want to wake you up either…I think I’ll recline here and observe your dreaming body to pass the time. Tightly clutching the seatbelt around your waist, you murmur several secrets over the next few minutes…but I haven’t seen you this still and calmed in weeks. How does sleep reduce giants to mere babes, and monsters to delicate nymph-like creatures who demand nothing more than your occasional glances and whispered praises? What is this demon, sleep? This angel that overtakes every soul in the night? You stir slightly, like the song of your dreams is transitioning from the verse to the final chorus. Your palpitant hands…they act as if they’re chasing after a being outside of this realm, like they’re catching a voice or taking on a battered warrior. Absolutely nothing in me wants to waken your reality-deadened body to light, but I think you’re ready. You’ve always been ready.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Sluggish Semi-human

Today hurt. Really bad.

I can't sleep and I can't eat and I'm just glazing through life like I'm some kind of sluggish semi-human.

I won't drown in it, it's only a puddle.

It's just a little big, that's all.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Stupid stupid

I'm not usually the type of person who would rip on someone I don't even know, but this is ridiculous.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Staring at the sun until I go blind,

is it really time to say goodbye?

I saw you in the other sky

but I'm sure if I really tied

the knot tight enough,

then everything would be calm, not rough.

I think I can breathe,

if only I could see

with something other than time,

and think in some other way than rhymes,

then I would see the other side despite my height.

Sadly, dreams only last at night

and then the fight

of bitter rays starts to bite

my lids,

let

know

I'm

still

alive.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Quiet

Laying in bed with a massive migraine, just turned out the lights. It seems when I leave for the weekend my room becomes a free-for-all, I managed to lose three pillows and gain a desk, a bass guitar, and various dirty laundry.

I'm watching Milk. Again.

Tomorrow is Lolo's photoshoot and a date with my mommy.

I hope it will be a Funday Monday and not a Migraine Monday.

I'm hooked on The Dear Hunter again. Their new album, Act III, is sensational in every way.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Moderation

Observations from September 4th, 2009

Numero Uno: speaking in Spanish always makes you sound cooler.

Numero Dos: having kids is your biggest opportunity to be creative, so, be creative. Don't name your kid Chuck or Dan or Beth. BORING.

Numero Tres: strawberries make everything better.

Numero Cuatro: fish are friends, not food, not furry, and definitely not fun.

Numero Cinco: just because you think something is the way it is doesn't mean it is the way you think it is.

The end.

Oh, epic pause....anticipate....picture of the day.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Photo Shoot.

Samantha and Nicole from Bumble and Bumble came into Navii for class day and I ended up being a model, getting a hair cut and an awesome style for free! They gave me some really neat products too :)