Wavering, almost painfully protesting the wind, you smile at me from afar.
The only reason why you left and the only reason why I’m scared and the only reason why you got yourself into this in the first place was because of me.
It is all on me you say.
“But how could this have ever happened or come to pass without you?” is my ever-implied comeback.
I don’t blame you for leaving me though.
If I were given the ability to have my soul possess some other creature or being than myself, I would flee across the world, out of sight, away from my marrow and my blood and my skeleton.

All the things that remind me I’m me.

Why can’t I contain myself long enough to figure out where I’m located anymore?
Somehow I always find myself waking up next to strangers, wearing clothes I’ve never owned, walking to places that don’t even exist.

And to think that all I ever wanted to do was go back to sleep.

You've always been ready.

You’re too big now baby, too big for me to carry in. And I don’t want to wake you up either…I think I’ll recline here and observe your dreaming body to pass the time. Tightly clutching the seatbelt around your waist, you murmur several secrets over the next few minutes…but I haven’t seen you this still and calmed in weeks. How does sleep reduce giants to mere babes, and monsters to delicate nymph-like creatures who demand nothing more than your occasional glances and whispered praises? What is this demon, sleep? This angel that overtakes every soul in the night? You stir slightly, like the song of your dreams is transitioning from the verse to the final chorus. Your palpitant hands…they act as if they’re chasing after a being outside of this realm, like they’re catching a voice or taking on a battered warrior. Absolutely nothing in me wants to waken your reality-deadened body to light, but I think you’re ready. You’ve always been ready.

Sluggish Semi-human

Today hurt. Really bad.

I can't sleep and I can't eat and I'm just glazing through life like I'm some kind of sluggish semi-human.

:(

I won't drown in it, it's only a puddle.

It's just a little big, that's all.

Stupid stupid

I'm not usually the type of person who would rip on someone I don't even know, but this is ridiculous.

Staring at the sun until I go blind, 

is it really time to say goodbye?

I saw you in the other sky 

but I'm sure if I really tied

the knot tight enough, 

then everything would be calm, not rough.

I think I can breathe, 

if only I could see

with something other than time,

and think in some other way than rhymes,

then I would see the other side despite my height.

Sadly, dreams only last at night

and then the fight

of bitter rays starts to bite

my lids,

to 

let

me 

know

I'm 

still

alive.

Quiet

Laying in bed with a massive migraine, just turned out the lights. It seems when I leave for the weekend my room becomes a free-for-all, I managed to lose three pillows and gain a desk, a bass guitar, and various dirty laundry.

I'm watching Milk. Again.

Tomorrow is Lolo's photoshoot and a date with my mommy.

I hope it will be a Funday Monday and not a Migraine Monday.

I'm hooked on The Dear Hunter again. Their new album, Act III, is sensational in every way.

Moderation

Observations from September 4th, 2009

Numero Uno: speaking in Spanish always makes you sound cooler.

Numero Dos: having kids is your biggest opportunity to be creative, so, be creative. Don't name your kid Chuck or Dan or Beth. BORING.

Numero Tres: strawberries make everything better.

Numero Cuatro: fish are friends, not food, not furry, and definitely not fun.

Numero Cinco: just because you think something is the way it is doesn't mean it is the way you think it is. 

The end.

Oh, epic pause....anticipate....picture of the day.

Photo Shoot.

Samantha and Nicole from Bumble and Bumble came into Navii for class day and I ended up being a model, getting a hair cut and an awesome style for free! They gave me some really neat products too :)




These are some pictures I took, Nicole cut my hair and they both styled it, I did my make up and clothes.